tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5775856670699857982011-08-25T05:56:57.176-07:00"MAYBE THE DEVIL WE KNOW IS BETTER THAN THE DEVIL WE DON'T," he said.ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.comBlogger1221100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-37771570509915270172009-04-21T09:41:00.005-07:002009-04-21T09:49:08.822-07:00

Jennifer Shawn Hoffmann--July 27, 1971-April 21, 2009Godspeed, beautiful girl. I'll see you on the other side. Goodbye. I love you (so much)...

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-72267267353420522302009-04-01T11:53:00.006-07:002009-04-01T12:21:18.202-07:00

Someone posed an interesting question the other day. Paraphrased, she basically asked why metastatic cancer patients don't want to "kick the asses" of those who haven't recurred, particularly when they ramble on about insignificant things. Interesting.I thought about it for a while, because I understood the concept, and my first reaction was, well, even for those of us who don't hear the ticking

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-12452745267086816632009-03-19T13:04:00.005-07:002009-03-19T13:13:49.108-07:00

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is thequiet voice at the end of the day saying,“I will try again tomorrow.” - Mary Anne Radmacher

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-32349459638313629492009-03-17T08:42:00.013-07:002009-03-17T10:41:12.899-07:00

(This is the entry in which she comments on her feelings about outside-the-office meetings... these days.) I hate 'em. I know hate is a strong word, but this borders on abhorrence. Seriously. I know it's a phase, and I know where it stems from. I know once I have hair again, once I'm feeling more myself again (which is slowly returning), and once I feel more confident again, outside meetings will

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-15966050112491154702009-03-05T09:19:00.012-07:002009-03-05T15:12:05.801-07:00

I was going to title it "progress", but since in the cancer world, progress (or its variant, progression) isn't always a positive thing, I figured I had better not. Anyhow, back to the random thoughts.The other night Greg and I went to have dinner with someone (a new friend, now) we had met through a mutual friend. She and our friend became friends in their college days and have stayed close,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-38375698068435831872009-02-23T10:20:00.003-07:002009-02-23T10:51:15.431-07:00

Oh, it's a strange existence sometimes...Sometimes, I simply forget. Sometimes I get caught up in time, or it's one of those days that perfect moment when I wake up, right before I open my eyes and nothing can touch me. Sometimes I'm laughing and I don't remember. Sometimes.Sometimes when I forget, I have to pee (which are typically mutually exclusive). But it means I look in the mirror. And

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-46444162261629590902009-02-11T13:10:00.007-07:002009-02-11T13:20:02.323-07:00

Monday we picked up the results of the PET scan I had last Thursday. It was a mess. All sorts of hypermetabolic activity in the lungs and such. The thing is, Dr. Cavalcant had signed off on it, and knowing him, he wouldn't have given us the report without talking to us first if it was bad news.So we hoped.Reading the scan report (because of course we are self-proclaimed medical professionals) we

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-47192355438235233102009-02-09T10:32:00.002-07:002009-02-09T10:43:30.771-07:00

When is the last time anyone out there (aside from you math teachers) gave any thought to simple geometry? I know I didn't. It's been a long, long time. I'm getting old, you know.Today we got schooled by the radiation oncologist.He didn't have the MRI results in front of him (not quite sure why) but we relayed the news that the two largest spots shrunk by nearly 50%. Shrinkage is good. What we

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-13515224356617842802009-02-02T14:12:00.003-07:002009-02-02T14:26:23.190-07:00

Time passed... as time passed, the time approached for a follow-up MRI after the radiation. I had this image in my mind, an unrealistic image at that, that the radiation worked as some type of magic eraser and when I got the scan results back... VOILA! No more cancer!!I'm not sure if I ever really believed that, but it was good to dream...The results were that the two largest spots shrunk by

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-48108103477453122342009-01-27T09:57:00.008-07:002009-01-27T11:13:27.931-07:00

The world took some interesting twists and turns...New Year's Eve was just how it should have been - from our traditional early few cocktails with friends at Caffe Boa, followed by heading next door for some decadent sushi at Sakana, and this time, complemented by a stop at the Bell's party to spread a little New Year cheer before heading home just in time to see the ball drop in NYC. Just as it

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-91974437282514587062008-12-29T10:27:00.007-07:002008-12-29T16:23:03.760-07:00

THREE WEEKS LATER???I lost three weeks? I had three weeks. I know they were there. I know I did things, saw people, had fun, laughed, ate, slept, finished treatments, wrapped presents, worked... worked... worked... worked... worked... worked.... worked... (aha! I see a trend).Somehow along the line I lost track of time and space and who knows what else. It's nice to be back.Christmas at the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-25862093662076358462008-12-09T14:14:00.004-07:002008-12-09T14:25:10.256-07:00

Still shaking. Still kicking ass and taking names.Still a bit surrounded in the surreal, and ready to put it all behind us.Five round downs as of yesterday - halfway home. Today should have been the sixth, but we got the call on the way over that the machine was down. How dare the machine be down. Doesn't it know I have healing to do? Life to live? Things to get on with?I felt good today - better

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-82058717996760117672008-12-05T15:11:00.004-07:002008-12-05T15:33:54.980-07:00

Six more to go.Kicking ass and taking names so far...I'm feeling strong, feeling good... feeling like I can take on the world.Not feeling anything too unusual, safe for the annoying goiter that is now molting and probably causing me more strife than the damn radiation.I've decided that it's a stylish time of year for neck wraps (whatever works).Food tastes like food, my body feels mostly like my

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-64574815802448885112008-12-04T14:22:00.004-07:002008-12-04T14:44:33.169-07:00

And thankfully, not much more to tell...It's an interesting experience, this whirlwind of zaps and antibiotics and steroids and work and life and holidays approaching and I tell you, it's not all that unusual.I keep trying to get a feel for things, to gauge what I might react to, or how my reactions might be different than the norm, but save for a momentary lapse of disorientation yesterday which

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-5247864835278825562008-12-02T12:48:00.004-07:002008-12-02T13:20:51.216-07:00

One zap down, nine more to go... Yesterday should have been the first round, but wouldn't you know it, I ended up with some weird-ass bite or blemish or something that I aggravated on the side of my neck and long story short... cellulitis. So, by the time we went in to see Dr. Rads, he felt that it was more important to get me on immediate antibiotics to treat the goiter (not really) on my neck

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-25476179797892446892008-12-01T13:21:00.003-07:002008-12-04T13:47:07.911-07:00

The short version...I went for that follow up PET scan on November 13 - the day before we left to do the 3-Day in Arizona (I still have to finish chronicling the experiences...)We knew I was coming back to results on Wednesday and I hoped to have the same 'miracle patient' reaction from my oncologist this time around. Not quite yet. While there were absolutely no areas of hypermetabolic uptake,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-38392382728448789312008-11-28T15:27:00.000-07:002008-11-28T15:28:24.387-07:00

http://www.08azbreastcancer3dy.blip.tvLaced tightly... ready to roll...

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-8851741615811853912008-11-21T13:55:00.005-07:002008-11-21T14:24:19.999-07:00

Day two found us waking up much more refreshed and much less achy than we anticipated being. I'm not certain if I felt really, really good this year or if it was the fact that I felt really, really crappy last year, in retrospect. Whatever the case, it was a new day, and we headed off to see the world.Day two took us through our very own 'hood most of the day. We were continually impressed by the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-36660855627192259932008-11-20T15:39:00.007-07:002008-11-20T15:57:15.836-07:00

Started off bright and early with the alarm going off at o'dark thirty. We had told Scott that he didn't need to set one, and he soon found out that our grind-and-brew coffee maker sounds like the Luftwaffe is landing on his head...Not surprisingly, we picked up a new honorary teammate in front of the restrooms before closing ceremonies. Kristi was a solo walker - the rest of her team had either

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-72760595082335778252008-11-19T06:52:00.002-07:002008-11-19T07:21:34.959-07:00

We're back from another three days of walking and thinking and laughing and dreaming. Of hopes and of aches and of memories and of inspiration. Each of my experiences has been so different, even though they have all been filled with a common goal, and common themes. This year was no exception.How can one find the words to describe it? How do you come back from three days like we just spent, and

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-88324136377168546052008-10-30T15:43:00.004-07:002008-10-30T16:31:55.757-07:00

One day closer to the weekend, and none too soon, at that.I realized it's been exactly two weeks since I last wrote. It's not that I haven't had things on my mind - mostly while walking in the desert, or in the times before I fall asleep - but it's getting those thoughts to form words, and words to form an entry that is the trouble.She's gone. Renee's sister Michele died yesterday morning. She

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-40924028251249184242008-10-16T12:15:00.005-07:002008-10-16T12:59:37.116-07:00

Every now and then I am blindsided with the reality of the fact that I dodged not only a bullet, but a cannonball. Right now, I'm feeling pretty damn fortunate to be here, to be healthy, to have the world in my hands, hair on my head again, and love in my life. I don't know why that is the case, I don't think I'm supposed to know why that is the case, and I can't ever forget that it could change

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-33420705169641720022008-10-15T16:39:00.003-07:002008-10-15T16:51:49.365-07:00

Grand Canyon winterInhale the cool mountain airExhale the demonEach scan will bring a new reason for wanting it to be clean. Whether it be the first one, or the second one, or the Canyon or the next anniversary - there really will never be a "better" time than another for it to come back less than flawless.Meanwhile, I can't still spend time living from scan to scan. Imagine what I'd miss in the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-58797131877001958352008-10-10T07:16:00.008-07:002008-10-10T10:22:43.425-07:00

Ironically, aside from the recent media blitz, there hasn't been a lot of cancer conversation these days. It's been a welcome respite. The irony of that is that we're right in the throes of Pink-tober, and Sunday is this year's Race for the Cure. For the first time since 2000, aside from they year I was out of town, I'm not running. At this point, we're planning on going down there and walking it

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-53656039363309388932008-09-24T10:28:00.002-07:002008-09-24T10:39:31.220-07:00

CURE is a quarterly magazine that we had first picked up at Desert Oncology during a particularly long wait. They offer complimentary subscriptions to patients, survivors, and caregivers and we have found many of the articles to be interesting - and straightforward.Back in early April, I got a wild hair and decided to make an attempt to take some these random ramblings and do something productive

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-72434456101819662142008-09-16T11:07:00.007-07:002008-09-16T14:02:54.669-07:00

That time of year is coming. The pink is starting to take over the world, Komen is going full bore with the outreach, and I find myself in the juxtaposition of wanting to spread awareness and being very wary of getting myself "pinked-out". I think it's been a struggle for me, always, to find my way and fit in with the "survivors", even though I was originally diagnosed as Stage 1. The "survivors"

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-11922515858336210522008-09-03T15:50:00.002-07:002008-09-03T15:54:04.781-07:00

(although I'm not sure that fanfare is the correct descriptor...) We look around, take a deep breath and exhale. Nod with satisfaction and take the first next steps into the future.The future filled with just a little less trepidation, for a little while.A little more hair product (OK, a LOT more), for a longer while.And a little more hope, every now and then amplified by love and realization,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-38021783202039776572008-08-28T15:38:00.006-07:002008-08-28T15:42:37.463-07:00

Honey, I read what you wrote this morning and I really liked it.... now go fix your typos.You know how sometimes one knows that they are EXACTLY where they are supposed to be???

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-82504787554548809162008-08-28T07:37:00.005-07:002008-08-28T15:38:41.420-07:00

finally comes to a screeching halt...I'd been so good, at least on the outside. I told myself time and time again that I wouldn't succumb to the "what-ifs" this time around. I knew, since last Thursday, that someone out there knew the answers to my questions. Someone knew whether my life would be turned upside down again or whether my stay of execution would be extended. Someone knew whether the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-52129580058442950972008-08-19T16:11:00.003-07:002008-08-19T16:47:33.279-07:00

two more days until my next PET scan. I've been so good, so far. Or so I think...Then again, what I think might not always coincide with the impressions of the people that deal with me on a daily basis...Two more sleeps until I wake up and head off to the machine first thing in the morning. I've been making sure to savor that one perfect moment in the morning when people start to stir in the bed

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-69729388127459618952008-08-13T09:34:00.009-07:002008-08-13T11:04:25.713-07:00

and even though you already know, you are reminded - once again - why you fought so damn hard to get here. Even though my style is typically along the lines Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots...I liked these words today.Don’t give upIt’s just the weight of the worldWhen your heart’s heavy, II will lift it for youDon’t give upBecause you want to be heardIf silence keeps you, II will break it for

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-649019851784392652008-08-08T10:36:00.010-07:002008-08-08T11:03:15.061-07:00

Many of these entries are written in my mind along the trails. Many entries written in my mind never make it past the trails and into words.This morning I realized that it was one year ago that we left for our Mt. Whitney trip. I left work the day before and told my boss,"I'm off to conquer the world - one step at a time..."And, conquer the world, I did. One step at a time. As we all know, I

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-19266905925866374522008-08-07T14:20:00.006-07:002008-08-07T16:40:32.604-07:00

like a marred and tattered canvas - i standas if an unfortunate embodiment of an artist's satireformerly known as youth and beautya road map of scars marks the long and winding roads of a journeyeach one telling unspoken talesand serving as a reminder of an uncertain futurethe left breast - perfectly sized and eternally perkynearly flawless but for the absent nippleand the faded scar sweeping

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-55767948385344953812008-08-04T17:01:00.004-07:002008-08-04T23:57:04.135-07:00

I'm reading this book, The Ice Man - Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer. It's like a train wreck. They warned me it would be - all who read it before me. Warned me that I wouldn't like it - that my heart is too "good". It's morbidly fascinating so far - but some of the things I read simply make me want to cry. They find that pit in my stomach of dread and uneasiness and amazement that such a

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-66256880463349869902008-07-30T15:48:00.001-07:002008-07-30T15:49:46.533-07:00

My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet. - Gandhi

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-23212140741782411482008-07-29T15:36:00.008-07:002008-07-29T15:55:12.396-07:00

We are living art, created to hang on, stand up, forbear, continue, and encourage others.- Maya AngelouSo many times when I look in the mirror and see the changes my body, hair, and face have undergone I struggle to reconcile the marred and tattered canvas with the fact that each of the contours on this road map are battle scars of victory. Eventually, slowly, I will learn to embrace the new

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-13805005330199029842008-07-28T10:16:00.002-07:002008-07-28T11:05:10.645-07:00

and 85 posts later, the story continues.Thirty seven years behind me... who knows how many more ahead of me.I have this magnetic poetry calendar on my wall here at work and before I left on Friday, I put the following words together:I dream to live and grow through another birthday.And, so I have. It was a nice weekend. A weekend of music and wine and sushi and indulgence. A weekend of friends

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-5037184119461536392008-07-23T09:45:00.004-07:002008-07-23T10:44:53.977-07:00

I went for my follow up visit with Dr. Eye yesterday, and as I was walking through her offices, I had vague recollections of being there the week before. It wasn't after I was ushered out of the first exam room and into the second that I remembered being in two separate exam rooms last week. I do remember nearly walking out without my purse though...The eyes seem to be healing up well, she says,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-63582068954580717312008-07-18T10:42:00.011-07:002008-07-18T15:29:05.908-07:00

For some reason, a handful of titles from my entries came crashing through my mind this morning. "In lieu of flowers, please send eye drops...", "All Things Considered", "So this experience has been fun and all..."I suppose pieces of each of them apply today. I remember back in October when the tearing and twitching started, and how incredibly annoying it was. Little did I know it was only the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-54007715568218189232008-07-03T09:51:00.015-07:002008-07-08T10:42:22.155-07:00

It's been a long time between blog-worthy thoughts and entries. It's been a long time between miscellaneous rambling musings or revelations. At least I have been enjoying this "nice lady" status. The unfortunate part is, if not for cancer, I apparently don't have much to say. But that's not true now, is it...Last time I thought to write, I was SO ready for the long weekend. Ironic, since we just

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-34929030938719499012008-06-18T11:07:00.004-07:002008-06-18T11:33:52.300-07:00

Well, I've apparently been spending too much time as a "nice lady" (although there might be some speculation there) and less time as a patient-type-person and consequently, haven't had much to say. I think, in this case, not much is a good thing. Very good. Next, on to the eye surgery...Before that, we're headed back east tomorrow for a few days. It's the first time in four years that I'll be

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-38016729494921404882008-06-05T11:41:00.002-07:002008-06-05T11:51:32.594-07:00

So, yesterday was Herceptin week. It was also my six-week catch-up with the oncologist. I signed in, I waited, I was (gah) put on the scale, and ushered back to the room for blood pressure and all that good stuff. Apparently all blood counts are normal, my resting heart rate was around 60, my temperature was normal, and my oxygenation was at 98%, and my blood pressure was 112/60. Cancer WHO?

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-30648078485599527902008-05-29T13:49:00.009-07:002008-05-29T14:12:58.778-07:00

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead I had no idea what to think when JW, one of the co-owners of the company I work for popped his head into my office as I was talking to the Dan, the bossman. He told us to come with him for a second and that he had something to show me. We got to the top

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-80229004978372758692008-05-28T13:57:00.005-07:002008-05-28T15:01:19.588-07:00

This morning I'm finishing up my morning whatever-ness, which included putting together a thank you note for the goody bags for this upcoming golf tournament (which is in and of itself another entry) and I stop to watch the segment on the Today show about an upcoming movement called Stand Up to Cancer. All three major networks are donating an hour of prime time air time on September 5 to raise

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-20905184436560177982008-05-20T13:40:00.010-07:002008-05-20T14:25:40.526-07:00

Thank you for your incredible accomplishment last night. Thank you for making Red Sox Nation and all the lovers of our national pastime proud. Thank you for your tenacity, your spirit, and your humbleness. Thank you for throwing the 18th no-hitter in Red Sox history and for the victorious look in your eyes as you tipped your cap to the adoring fans at Fenway, and the millions watching around the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-74698111801378029092008-05-14T15:52:00.013-07:002008-05-15T08:50:17.974-07:00

I looked up at the calendar hanging in my office the other day, and noticed that the Quote of the Month was this:"One should count each day a separate life." - SENECANow, the calendar went on to question the person sitting in front of it. Does this mean that the morning is our youth and the evening our old age? Or does it mean we should get the most out of each day? Maybe both. I guess that would

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-69356654646743537562008-05-02T09:06:00.006-07:002008-05-02T09:49:05.991-07:00

I was thinking the other day about how long cancer has been a part of my life. My thoughts initially took me back to when I was living in Boston and an ex of mine had a roommate that had gone through cancer. Late summer of the first year I was in Phoenix I had gotten a call from him telling me that the cancer came back and his roommate had died. But that wasn't my first experience with

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-63114167946187332572008-04-28T15:30:00.010-07:002008-04-29T11:07:58.814-07:00

Who says the New Year has to go by the traditional Western calendar? I mean, sure, January 1st is January 1st, and the calendar year changes, but it's not that way everywhere. What about the solar calendar, the lunar calendar, and the lunisolar calendar - not to mention the Hebrew calendar, the Persian calendar, and the traditional Buddhist calendar. Then there is your fiscal calendar, your

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-7696131976966784732008-04-23T13:38:00.003-07:002008-04-23T14:14:37.864-07:00

The first time we saw him, NED looked at us shyly from the doorway. I suppose it wasn't his time to come into the room. It was January 16, and we had come from a visit to Dr. C. that discussed the results of the surgery and the fact that I'd be on the Herceptin-only regimen for a while. Dr. C had shaken our hand, and was thrilled with the results, and said that we'd re-scan in a couple months.

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-48290679961813717042008-04-17T06:59:00.004-07:002008-04-17T07:08:02.213-07:00

"You know that ridiculous scan you have tomorrow?""Uh huh.""Don't worry, God's got your back.""How do you know?""I just do..."Tomorrow is today, and I've done all I can do except for show up.I still believe that when I hear the results next week, they will be just what I want them to be. I have played out the scene a hundred times in my mind. We're sitting in the room, waiting for the doctor to

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-64222133298168161162008-04-09T13:13:00.012-07:002008-04-09T16:35:13.903-07:00

I came across this quote in an article today. Ironically, it was just after returning from a glance at the mirror in the bathroom in which I noticed that my small hair is looking a bit wild these days.In Margaret Cho’s “Beautiful” tour, she talks about recently being on a radio show and having the host ask her point-blank, live, on the air, “What if you woke up one day, and you were beautiful?”

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-843473109638827832008-04-08T09:09:00.006-07:002008-04-08T09:54:09.143-07:00

I've been stressed about this upcoming scan. I've been bound and determined not to let it get in the way of my here and now, but beneath it all, behind the roadrunner, I've been stressed. I admit it. Until picked up the latest issue of Cure magazine the other day. As I was flipping through, I glanced at something that said "Progression-free Survival", and suddenly, it hit me. The upcoming scan is

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-66763126130491843472008-04-02T09:32:00.006-07:002008-04-02T13:19:45.909-07:00

Today we bring you a special report, LIVE from Desert Oncology. The commute was fairly uneventful, although 101L is backed up due to the construction of the new HOV lanes (or whatever is screwing up the traffic today). Today our guest stars include Andrea the Survivor, who is almost done with Herceptin and getting married in three weeks, and the one and only Stan, who we hope is doing better than

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-39492041597498764672008-04-02T07:03:00.004-07:002008-04-02T07:05:04.553-07:00

I realized yesterday that I haven't really posted any new photos without a hat lately. I found a great one this morning - or a least a pretty accurate representative of my new look. Enjoy.

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-89966508268261799732008-03-31T08:43:00.004-07:002008-03-31T09:06:41.346-07:00

Eight years ago yesterday, I was a 28 year old kid, sitting in my cubicle at work when the phone rang. It was about a week after my biopsy and I still hadn't heard anything from the surgeon. She had gone on vacation, and I was anxious to hear the results from the pathology report so I could finally exhale. I had left a message earlier that day, and the surgeon's associate, whom I had never met,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-49685582252953242422008-03-28T09:33:00.003-07:002008-03-28T10:28:23.169-07:00

I stopped running in mid-November. My body just didn't want to go anymore. I told myself it was because it was recovering from the 3-Day, but I so clearly remember the day when after nearly 1/2 a mile on the way to the trail loop, I just couldn't. My legs felt as though they were encased in cement, my chest felt as though it was a thousand pounds, and my mind couldn't wrap itself around the fact

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-70390770437647115952008-03-27T14:43:00.008-07:002008-03-27T17:51:00.680-07:00

Sometimes I look in the mirror when I am getting ready for work these days, or getting ready to go out, and every now and then I actually see a glimpse of the person I once was. I see energy, rather than listlessness, and light, rather than dark. I see eyelashes - yes, eyelashes! - enough to actually put mascara on these days, and every now and then, if I catch myself off guard, I see someone

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-51999031255063399292008-03-25T15:56:00.015-07:002008-03-25T17:17:48.589-07:00

Can you hear that? It's the sound of the ebb and flow of the normal changing of the tides, not the pounding waves and whitecaps of a storm. I know it may be fleeting, but I feel, for a second, like I can take a deep breath and come up for air. I'd better enjoy it while it lasts...I find myself stepping outside a whirlwind of visitors and fun and a small vacation and insanity at work and the "same

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-40124349366707367252008-03-19T17:12:00.003-07:002008-03-20T13:17:26.710-07:00

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. " - Mark Twain

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-2967380709506137302008-03-18T10:18:00.006-07:002008-03-18T20:21:18.604-07:00

Overdue. I'm long overdue for an outpouring of thoughts, most of them amazed at the wonder of life around me. Right now? I needed a break from work to try and digest what just happened.I missed a cell phone call from Dr. B, the pulmonologist. A mystery spot in the lung showed up on a scan a few years back, and we'd been following it closely with PET scans every six months. My last one was in

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-40319486885334248662008-03-06T11:47:00.011-07:002008-03-06T12:13:55.815-07:00

Whew. Nothing in moderation, I suppose... Work has been ridiculous. I won't even go into the volume of work I have to do in the limited amount of time I have do to it, but it forces me to delegate responsibility for certain things, and that, I suppose, is good. As much as I feel like my hair might catch on fire some of these days (which would be a crying shame, as it's growing and growing), I

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-88602366275088239702008-02-27T14:39:00.006-07:002008-02-27T15:18:26.063-07:00

Each year when we start fundraising for the 3-Day, I continue to be amazed at the kindness of strangers. No, the fundraising hasn't started yet (although that time will come soon enough) and this time, this isn't about me. Sort of. One of my closest friends, Jill, and her daughter Lily did the Sacramento Race for the Cure in 2006. Lily was just 6 then, and she wanted to win. Jill explained to

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-80180580558906885602008-02-27T09:30:00.007-07:002008-02-27T20:41:26.680-07:00

We've all heard the adage, right? It's sort of silly, when you think about it though. Is the thinking that if you're healthy, you can probably face anything? And truly, what on earth does this mean?I find that now that I've put the restraining order on all things cancer and chemo, I seem to have less to write about. While it may seem like this renewed health has sapped my creativity, I think my

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-22685748662172996542008-02-22T14:23:00.006-07:002008-02-22T15:15:18.620-07:00

A week or so ago, Aly asked a question on behalf of her friend whos sister was starting chemo in the near future. Her friend wanted to send her sister a care package and was looking for suggestions on what the best things might be to make things better.It was an interesting question, because the nature of chemo combined with each person's reaction and random, erratic aversions or cravings are so

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-48421468700245065992008-02-22T09:12:00.013-07:002008-02-22T11:22:49.736-07:00

It's kind of a grey day today and although I have piles and piles of work to do, I've decided I can take a minute or two for me this morning. I was thinking in the shower this morning about how I had so many things I wanted to say, so many thoughts I wanted to capture, and by the time I sit down to write them, too many of them have escaped. I suppose that's the nature of life though.Wednesday I

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-88436141692960706522008-02-18T15:20:00.007-07:002008-02-18T15:32:01.792-07:00

Valentine's Day is supposed to be about matters of the heart. Never mind that I find it to be mostly a Hallmark holiday manufactured for who knows what reason. Me? I prefer to give olives and enjoy sushi on any given Thursday. So it goes.In any case, I find it slightly ironic that on the day that is supposed to concern matters of the heart I received the results of my MUGA scan. Turns out that my

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-7904680055127242622008-02-13T15:04:00.015-07:002008-02-13T15:58:09.206-07:00

What I must remember is not to be laced so tightly that I forget to exhale and everything inside comes out with a WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH when I finally do. It works so much better when I breathe in and breathe out on a regular basis. When I stop to turn my face to the sun, it reminds me of where I need to be headed. I have a Magnetic Poetry calendar hanging beside my desk at work and just yesterday,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-68849318680597991052008-02-11T13:17:00.000-07:002008-02-11T14:49:29.174-07:00

There were a couple of instances this weekend that I recall thinking, "I have to remember this moment." That, in and of itself was pretty cool, and as I feared I of course have forgotten a couple of said moments. At least for right now. As far as the ones I do remember, I suppose I had better write them down before I forget.Angels. We were driving down to Tubac on Saturday morning. I'm pretty

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-89819007607215258292008-02-09T23:02:00.003-07:002008-06-10T09:12:08.956-07:00

Well, you asked for photos... They look pretty much like this, my eyelashes.Especially after a few glasses of wine.And maybe a few months.More importantly, who knew that chemo would make me sprout rhinestones???This could be a moneymaker...

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-52484484967033543832008-02-08T09:34:00.000-07:002008-02-08T09:47:28.748-07:00

I leaned in as closely as I could to the mirror, turning my head so I didn't bump my nose into the glass again, but I needed a better look. I saw something there. Something that might not have been there before. Could it be? OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD, it WAS! The following conversation ensued..."LOOK! LOOK! An EYELASH!!! Do you see it? Do you see it?? Right THERE, on the bottom right!""Um... honey, I

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-70028354603321094172008-02-07T14:09:00.000-07:002008-02-07T17:46:11.730-07:00

I've realized lately that I simply don't seem to have much to write about these days. I wondered if I had become boring (which I guess everyone gets, sometimes) or if now that I'm riding the non-toxic wave, I just don't have much of interest to say. Maybe instead I'm busier living and breathing. Maybe I've managed to throw myself more into my work now that I don't feel like I've been run over

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-30767142496933638832008-01-31T16:04:00.000-07:002008-01-31T16:25:08.122-07:00

This is my word of the day today.Definition: marked by arbitrary often ruthless disregard of individual differences or special circumstances.Use in a sentence: My veins will be forever grateful that Dr. Cavalcant does not have a procrustean treatment regimen for all of his patients. OK, so it's a stretch, but I thought it was a fun word and felt compelled to use it in a sentence. Yes, I should be

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-62248809834197689182008-01-30T07:15:00.000-07:002008-01-30T08:19:56.666-07:00

I think I've officially entered Phase Three of this leg of the journey. That is, if you consider Phase One to be chemo, Phase Two to be surgery, and Phase Three to be post-surgery treatment. Who knows, anyhow. I think perhaps I'm safer calling it the "next" phase... potentially of many.In any case, I believe that my entrance through the doors of the Sonora Quest Lab may have marked my entrance

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-67140707480739844332008-01-25T14:15:00.000-07:002008-01-25T15:37:23.126-07:00

doesn't necessarily give you the right to assume I'm just like you...I was thinking this morning that it feels like a long time since I've written anything worthwhile. Hell, I've been thinking all week that it feels like a long time since I've written anything at ALL. Is that what happens? Once one gets out of crisis management mode are things just not that interesting anymore? Eh, whatever the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-24137774024821707012008-01-21T15:30:00.000-07:002008-01-21T16:01:46.387-07:00

It's a beautiful, 64-degree day here in Phoenix. This is the weather people come out here for. None of that below-freezing, cover-your-citrus junk. This is the good stuff. The sun is shining, my hair is growing (albeit slowly), and as I took a modified figure eight walk around the lakes with the dogs, I found myself loving the fact that I had a spring in my step again, I wasn't short of breath,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-63357744571105956432008-01-17T16:29:00.001-07:002008-01-17T17:29:28.527-07:00

We left Dr. Cavalcant's office yesterday around lunchtime, and got into the car. I turned to Greg in a bit of disbelief and said, "So, what just happened there?"With tears in his eyes (that were potentially from hunger at that point) he quietly said, "Victory."VICTORY. Round one belongs to ME.We went to see Dr. Cavalcant yesterday - armed with the knowledge from the pathology report and what

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-82864700790271711872008-01-14T16:14:00.000-07:002008-01-14T16:25:48.185-07:00

"...And when you're alone, there's a very good chanceyou'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.There are some, down the road between hither and yon,that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.But on you will go though the weather be foulOn you will go though your enemies prowlOn you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howlOnward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-52235213264856126272008-01-14T10:23:00.000-07:002008-01-14T13:40:28.909-07:00

Four days post op, and we've reached The Waiting Place.."...for people just waiting.Waiting for a train to goor a bus to come, or a plane to goor the mail to come, or the rain to goor the phone to ring, or the snow to snowor waiting around for a Yes or a Noor waiting for their hair to grow.Everyone is just waiting."What I'd like to know is why are all these people waiting for their hair to grow?

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-54085328149367909082008-01-10T04:43:00.000-07:002008-01-10T04:46:00.784-07:00

and ready to go...Yep, all cleaned out - that's for certain.Say a little prayer this morning.And one that the dogs won't get into anything too important in the house while we're gone...Ready for the next step of this journey...Laced tightly...

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-7327146881656792562008-01-08T14:38:00.000-07:002008-01-08T16:00:47.057-07:00

For some reason I'm feeling strangely calm about this upcoming procedure. I suppose it's not *that* strange for me to be calm, other than the fact that I'm usually all worked up about a simple scan these days, but surgery? Feh. Bring it on.Even after yesterday's phone call..."Hi, this is Joe Shmo from Mayo Clinic somethingorotherdepartment. We're calling about your surgery on the 10th. Dr.

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-1748313981160051492008-01-04T07:05:00.000-07:002008-01-04T09:12:37.369-07:00

Next week at this time I should be resting quietly the morning after surgery, with two less estrogen-producing ovaries, minus a couple of mystery masses, and short one unnecessary appendix. At least that's what they cleared me for yesterday after spending half a day at the Mayo Clinic being checked in, checked out, debriefed, thoroughly interrogated, and at long last, poked (three times) for

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-77168009078609205092008-01-02T11:59:00.000-07:002008-01-02T18:38:09.909-07:00

Wow.Aside from the piles of work on my desk that I have slowly been plodding through, determined to tackle before the 10th arrives, life continues as usual...It was a beautiful week or so off - lots of relaxation, lots of cooking delicious-smelling things, lots of love and laughter mixed in with some reflection and not too many tears. It was just what it should have been.New Year's Eve found us

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-33025110892874783212007-12-19T17:33:00.000-07:002007-12-19T18:04:09.148-07:00

And now I have a bit of a respite.We saw Dr. Cavalcant today - he asked how I was doing. I like to tell him that all is well, and today, for the most part, I felt good. But I told him that I felt like I was fighting harder. I couldn't help but to tear up. My white counts were down, for the first time since I started this back on August 1. Not way down, mind you (2.7) but down enough that he was

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-71857969212408370362007-12-19T08:12:00.000-07:002007-12-19T08:29:12.153-07:00

Today is the last treatment, for a while. At least a month. I've been keeping on keeping on.Working,walking,doing, being...Last night before I fell asleep, I cried. It's been happening too frequently lately, and I just realized I was scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of what they will find when they go in for surgery, scared that I’m not done with the treatments, scared that each tiny cough

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-61735285659475632152007-12-13T16:49:00.000-07:002007-12-13T17:12:57.628-07:00

Yes, it seems I have become the one-stick wonder in the chemo suite these past few weeks. Thank god for small favors. It's a good thing, as the chemo nurses don't run in terror when I walk into the room these days. One more treatment behind me, and one more to go before the BREAK.Twenty weeks. Twenty freakin' weeks of Taxotere.All I have to say to that is "oy vey iz mir". Either that, or WTF? In

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-65004005825118722842007-12-11T10:59:00.000-07:002007-12-11T11:51:45.774-07:00

Snippets of randomness flit through my mind on a daily basis. I'm not sure if they can be attributed to chemo brain or just the fact that I have always been a little random with my thought processes. The phrase "the incredible lightness of being" has been stuck in my head, and upon Googling it (I find myself amused that "to Google" is an action, and a proper one at that) I realized I was actually

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-48028261906314597572007-12-03T16:20:00.000-07:002007-12-03T17:04:37.085-07:00

I could spend about an hour rattling off the side effects that this damn drug (or combination of drugs) has afflicted me with. I could list the ones that they list on the websites - the common ones and the uncommon ones and whether or not I have experienced them and to what degree. I could list the ones they tell you about on the message boards that they don't tell you on the websites, and

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-256914198849611352007-11-27T09:25:00.000-07:002007-11-27T11:35:49.234-07:00

We heard about an exhibit that a photographer had done, called the Beautiful Faces of Cancer. It's a great concept, and indeed, there are beautiful faces. However, while last time I went through this, cancer had a smell, this time it has a face. Come to think of it, it's actually the smell and the face of chemo...Losing my hair was pretty bad. It had grown, it was long, I liked it, and I liked

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-33904657063090338112007-11-15T16:02:00.000-07:002007-11-15T16:29:21.538-07:00

spots on the liver, that is...Well, there's one tiny spot left, but according to the PET/CT report, it's about 11mm and shows NO hypermetabolic activity, and wasn't even significant enough to mention in the body of the report. In other words...THE SHIT IS UNDER CONTROL!!!!That's right, under control, the doctor says. Praise the Lord and pass the wine...He came into the room, and immediately said,

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-18892043367938808702007-11-13T17:17:00.001-07:002007-11-13T17:47:23.276-07:00

I was talking to a very close friend today about this blog, and the fact that I find myself censoring sometimes what I put out there for public consumption. I guess I have to remember that I'm writing this for me, first and foremost, but knowing that people read, do I really have to mention the part about the bloating or the atrocious fingernails or the weird dryness on my left hand? It's not

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-15886241957157226652007-11-12T13:47:00.001-07:002007-11-12T13:57:56.605-07:00

I haven't mentioned it, have I? The burping.Oh. My. God, the burping.And, of course, the constant heartburn.I've been popping Pepcid regularly, or a generic version of Pepcid, that has for the most part kept the heartburn in check. Until it comes on. And then, it comes on. Blargh. Anyhow, we ran into an MD friend of ours the other night, and he remarked that I was not my usual boisterous self.

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-25348023442670798652007-11-12T11:11:00.000-07:002007-11-13T15:53:58.763-07:00

Work. I made my list this morning of things that need to get done this week. Or in the weeks after. Or things that need attention here at work. It's sitting there next to me, in green ink, with the cap of the green pen not yet replaced. I don't know why I tend to do that, and then I find myself surprised when the pen doesn't work anymore. Fine. Capped. Ready for the next encounter. I should start

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-53101802001984361312007-10-31T15:57:00.000-07:002007-10-31T17:36:13.874-07:00

Good news, they say, comes in threes. I'm not sure if that's exactly true, but we have three good things today.1. The veins cooperated. Thank God. Or Buddah. Or whomever is listening. My brother told me that when he was in China for business last week he asked a Buddhist monk to pray for me, and made a donation to the Breast Cancer Awareness display set up at a coffee shop there. I've always been

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-46856476187318706832007-10-24T07:23:00.001-07:002007-10-24T07:34:20.049-07:00

I should have posted a photo of this mug last week, as this was my wonderful Wednesday treat. Ironically enough, I didn't even notice the writing on the side until putting them away that night. However, what better opportunity to link back to one of my favorite entries.This morning? A decent night's sleep, 2 miles walked, 2.5 miles run, and ready for week 13 with guns blazing, gloves laced.It's

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-89836655599460949612007-10-22T15:48:00.000-07:002007-10-22T16:04:58.697-07:00

I was tired of seeing that other one when I opened this page. It sucked.Honest, perhaps, but past tense. Much better that way.So, to start the week we have this: Just because she's ridiculous, yet cute.And of course, this: Now, back to our regularly scheduled program...

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-52836602711722006662007-10-19T10:32:00.000-07:002007-10-19T10:42:50.913-07:00

So today? I'm kind of sick of this routine. Just for today. I'm tired of hearing about it, talking about it, wondering how many times it will take to find a vein, counting how many ounces of water I drink, wondering whether or not I’ll sleep well, whether or not my tossing and turning will keep Greg and all random dogs up all night, and whether one day I’ll be pretty again. I'm tired of looking

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-24324364415627559312007-10-18T15:55:00.001-07:002007-10-18T16:19:04.930-07:00

But I tell you, up close and personal, the hair is growing. I would like, of course, for it to grow a bit faster, but all in time, I suppose. Not too bad for two weeks of growth. It's fuzzy. I've also apparently graduated from the Silvio Dante look to Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle. (Sing it now... "Life is Unfair....") Anyhow, it's growing, it's not shedding, and it's fuzzy. Enough on the

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-45644067974854462952007-10-16T14:22:00.000-07:002007-10-16T15:37:51.818-07:00

Ok, maybe not. Add to that the fact that typically autographs are worth more once the signer has left this earth, and I'm perfectly content to have my signature worth no more than the paper it's signed on.However... we did make the news again! Cori from the Ahwatukee Foothills News did a very nice piece on us - except for the fact that we were married in New Mexico, and not in California... maybe

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-39512839937448874342007-10-11T10:48:00.000-07:002007-10-11T11:24:09.962-07:00

Well, maybe not tomorrow, but soon enough, it seems. I've decided that I'm going to start a series entitled, "As the Hair Grows" with weekly photos to document the progress. It's growing, I tell you. And strangely enough, it's not coming in patchy either. Granted, in the meanwhile was told, hopefully in jest, that I apparently bear a vague resemblance to Steve Van Zandt when I am wearing a

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577585667069985798.post-65101094953398009132007-10-09T16:14:00.000-07:002007-10-09T16:15:37.993-07:00

A while back, Greg saw an episode of the Today Show that, if my chemo-brain serves me correctly, featured a couple that had been happily married for 50 years. This feat, as we all know, is unfortunately somewhat of an anomaly these days. He told me that Matt Lauer asked them what their secret was. The wife gestured to the husband who nodded and said, "Yeeessss, Dear." (That was drawn out a bit in

ShawnieMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10002240185423805972noreply@blogger.com1